The power of Forgiveness

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As Human beings we have all experienced being wronged by someone or have inflicted the same unintentionally on others.

Forgiving a person who has wronged you is never easy, but dwelling on those events and reliving them over and over can fill your mind with negative thoughts, resentment and suppressed anger," says Dr. Tyler VanderWeele, co-director of the Initiative on Health, Religion, and Spirituality at the Harvard T.H. Chan School of Public Health; which ultimately detrimentally affects our health.

Learning to forgive releases trapped negative feelings and sets you free however it does not mean that you condone the hurtful behaviour. Practicing forgiveness has powerful health benefits: lessening depression, anxiety, and hostility; reducing substance abuse; increasing self-esteem; and loving life more.

Start by small acts of forgiveness that don’t really matter like the rude Verizon phone person, the hasty driver with road rage, or the person who cuts the line at the grocery store!

Here are some useful tips:

  • Put yourself in the other persons’ shoes to empathise and try to understand that they are human too.

  • Try to let go of any expected outcome

  • Remember how freeing it feels like to be forgiven for a past transgression

  • If you can talk to the person try to forgive cleanly without blame or the need to be right

  • If you can’t speak to the person directly, write a letter or make an entry in your journal

  • If connection is totally impossible, do the Forgiveness Process until you feel the ache is healed.

Forgiveness Process

Imagine you are looking at the person who affronted you.

Recite:

I, ____________ (your name), forgive you, ____________ (the guilty party),
for all you have ever done to hurt me
in this lifetime or any other and I set you free.

I ask you, ____________ (the guilty party), to forgive me, ____________ (your name),
for anything I have ever done to hurt you
in this life time or any other and I ask you to set me free.

Thank you for this opportunity to free each other.”

Repeat twice a day until the depth of feeling subsides.

Marjolein Brugman written by Marjolein Brugman

Marjolein Brugman is the founder of lighterliving and Aeropilates. “lighterliving is a movement and lifestyle choice we can all make. Let’s make it simple – make one decision a day to be better and watch the small steps lead to big changes. Eat smart, stay active, and you’ll live to feel a lighter life."

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